Rock Needs River

Review:

Vanessa McGrady was pretty sure she wanted to be a mom… eventually. Before she knew it, she was in her forties and realized that she was ready to have a baby. After miscarriages and infertility struggles, she decided she would be open to adoption. It took a two-year journey, but she describes the adoption of her daughter, Grace, as a miracle. And when Grace’s biological parents experienced homelessness, Vanessa invited them to stay with her. Rock Needs River is McGrady’s memoir about family, in biological and adoptive and non-traditional forms.

My husband and I are planning to adopt children one day, so I have been devouring all the books I can find for the last couple years about adoption. The concept of Rock Needs River caught my attention right away, and I couldn’t wait to read it. It was a very quick read – I read it on a flight from Minneapolis to Orlando. Although it focused more on McGrady’s life than I had originally thought from reading the description (with almost half describing Vanessa’s pre-adoption life, and the rest discussing her adoption journey and post-adoption life), I still enjoyed this book.

Favorite Passage:

I knew from all my adoption training and subsequent learning that the original separation wound is something that heals to various degrees in different people, but it is always there – I could never truly, entirely remove the scar Grace carries from growing inside one mother and being handed to another. But I spend every moment of every day wanting to be the biggest star in her life. The one who loves her the most. The one she loves the most. It is torture for me to imagine my life without her, or hers without me.
— Chapter Thirteen

What I Loved Most:

McGrady says that this book is a love letter to her daughter, chronicling the journey of Grace becoming part of her family. She shares the good parts of her and Grace’s relationships with Grace’s biological parents, as well as the tough parts of having an open adoption. At the conclusion of the book, McGrady is no longer in contact with Grace’s biological parents, but she says that she is open to reconnecting with them in the future. The relationship between adoptive parents and biological parents in an open adoption can be messy and hard and beautiful, and I appreciate McGrady not shying away from describing the tough moments as well as the great moments.

Read this book if you like:

Stories about non-traditional families, memoirs, learning about parenthood, understanding why people make the decisions they do

Book Details:

• Author: Vanessa McGrady
• Publisher: Little A
• Date of Publication: February 1, 2019
• Age Recommendation: Adult
• Find Rock Needs River on Amazon if you’d like to own a copy!
• Check out Rock Needs River on Worldcat to find it at a library near you!